


Better Than a Paper Bag

by Chibieska



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Canon - Manga, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Shounen-ai, Spoilers, bittersweet love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 06:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20944004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibieska/pseuds/Chibieska
Summary: "Your breathing is more or less settled. It doesn't need to be a paper bag" Kaworu said, triumphant.Shinji couldn't forget that night.





	Better Than a Paper Bag

**Author's Note:**

> Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to Gainax
> 
> (1) This is a ficcional work, elements of the original work can be altered for better compatibility with this story.
> 
> (2) This story contains yaoi / shounen-ai, if you don't like, press (x) at the top of the page to exit.
> 
> (3) Spoilers of Stage 67 – Twisted Night
> 
> (4) English is not my first language.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

He felt warm, sweet lips against his, soft hands enveloping him and cherry eyes staring at him, curious, shy. He felt the tongue inside his mouth, the weight of the other's body over his.

"What hell..." Shinji threw the pillow violently against the bedroom door and stared at the ceiling, which he could barely make out in the piercing of darkness.

Shinji always had thoughts of Asuka, Rei, other high school girls, even Misato, but he never imagined that his first kiss was just with... He put his hands to his head and pulled his own hair violently. That didn't count. He was hyperventilating, would die if the other did nothing. It was like a CPR, it's didn't count as a kiss, after all, there were no feelings.

There was not? Even with all he had learned about Dr. Akagi, his father, and Ayanami, he couldn't get Kaworu out from his thoughts, nor could ignore that strange, warm sensation he felt as he was touched by the pale boy.

Shinji kept him away, but not because he hated Kaworu. He could never hate him, even if he wanted to. Shinji didn't want to lose him, as had lost everyone else. He had a feeling that if he is losing Kaworu too, would be a pain he couldn't bear.

Shinji rolled over and pulled back the covers, trying his best to adjust himself to sleep. But sleep didn't come, the kiss image invaded his thoughts. He longed for the next kiss that he would never let happen. He was afraid, frightened, couldn't imagine how it be in the next time he would look into those big red eyes, but it would be uncomfortable.

His concern so increased that nervousness made him hyperventilate. He hurried up and reached for a paper bag strategically placed by the bed table. Slowly, he managed to steady his breathing as he tried to calm down.

“See, it worked without needing the paper bag.” He remembered the naive, childish expression on Nagisa's face. There was something very strange about him. No one would react to a kiss so carefree.

Shinji tried to get the child out of his thoughts, but at about three in the morning he gave up the battle. Kaworu was there, imprinted in his mind and engraved in his heart.

He pulled out the phone and dialed. It rang once, twice, three, four, five times. He was almost hanging up when someone answered.

"Hello" the voice was soft and sleepy. Shinji felt a chill run down his spine, damn time he'd decided to call.

"Nagisa?"

"Shinji-kun?" The voice sounded surprised on the other side. “Are we under attack?” He asked, looking more awake.

"Er... No, it's fine." Why had he called? Shinji felt hands shaking slightly and heart beat wildly.

"So, what do you want?"

"Ah..." A long silence. Maybe he thought Kaworu wouldn't answer the call, maybe he thought Kaworu wouldn't ask that kind of question. Maybe he didn't think of anything before calling. "I wanted to say thank you for saving my life." The boy felt his face flush.

"Was you thinking about that?" The voice didn't come out cheery or pretentious, but Shinji felt all the blood in his body run to his face.

"No, of course not," he said loudly and quickly.

“Right.” The voice of the other seemed adamant. It didn't look like the usual Kaworu.

Shinji still remembered the boy's disappointed expression when he announced that he would return to Misato's house. Was that still bothering him?

"Thanks... for staying by my side these days." Ayanami's death and the things he discovered had been difficult to deal with. Kaworu, even with his peculiar way, had been the only normal thing in those days.

"You say you hate me and thank me. You're weird, Shinji-kun."

"I know..."

"When we see each other tomorrow, which Shinji are you going to be? What hates me, or what kindly calls me in the middle of the night?" Nagisa used an unusual tone of voice for him. Cranky and disappointed.

"I'll try my best to be kind to you."

"I would appreciate it."

"I'm sorry for calling this time and – “

"Shinji-kun, thank you and good night," Kaworu interrupted, his voice sounding light and sad, as if this was the last time, they would talk in such a trivial way.

"What are you thanking me for?"

"You'll know soon." A mixture of guilt and realization seemed to reach Shinji. While the child's voice had worried him, it had brought him comfort and happiness.

They hung up and Shinji straightened up in bed, and without fighting with the memory of the kiss and eager to meet the boy in soon, he slept quickly, a smile on his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> If you like, please comment!


End file.
